Dear Journal

Boo doesn't know this ,but I love him. Although he told me he loves me, I cannot tell him ,for he'll run or stop talking to me.
He doesn't know a lot of things. He doesn't know that I could careless that he is hot. I actually fell in love when I actually got to know him.
Also doesn't know that I happily accept his flaws. The reason is simple, life is so much better with flaws and it shows he is being himself.
 I have to say, my two favorite parts about him is his smile and eyes. I love when he is happy and he beams that smile; my heart fills with warm when I get to gaze upon the sight. And those eyes. Those puppy eyes, they could mostly get me to do anything. Even though its plain brown, they sparkle like gems when he smiles.
But what he really doesn't know, I aiming to get him to say 'awww, thats so cute' all the time. I don't now why but I love it when he says that. His voice sometimes purr it out as he smoothly says it.
In the end, I'm the love sick-puppy. Exactly like a puppy infact. If I had a tail, it would be wagging if I saw him. And when I see him, my mind is 'he's here, he's here. he's here.'. But when he's not around, I end up glancing at my phone like a dog checking the window seeing if its owner's car is coming. I have a problem wanting to kiss him all the time like when a dog is excited and wants to like its master like crazy.
I wonder if he would think its weird or creepy or something like that, if he knew, that when he first said he may visit my work, I ,everyday for that weekend, kept glancing at the clear front door.
Everday that passed, the sadder I got. Eventually, I realize it was dayjavu when I waited for my ex to call long ago. In the end, that brought back memories ,and when the weekend was over I cried.

-today
Well, right now, I'm trying to figure out the facebook thing. Its much easier to talk to him on facebook. I'm starting to miss chatting with him, and also I'm starting to think about rather I should date another guy on aside. I won't. I will never cheat on him. I'm very loyal but I do long for a normal date and giving a lot of kisses. I wish Boo wasn't embarrassed of me ,but I'm not going to say anything about that. He like his privacy and I like his trust, so until he is ready I'll try to keep it a secret relationship.
Although, I did tell Paige and Abbie about it (even though I promised not too), for I was needed to tell someone. What happened was, Boo was angry or something... I never could figure out why he was angry but I apologies figuring that it must be because of me snapping. I wish I knew why he was so angry at me. Back to the main thing, well during that time, I was lost and didn't know what to do. I needed someone opinion. So I told two people who would never tell a soul. I told Paige about everything just not what the stuff Boo told me. I told her about the baseball field and how me and him had the same sexual interests and how he was perfect. She was pissed I never told her before but she happily accepted and wants in the future to meet him. I trust Paige with all my heart.
But I came up with a evil plan to make him forgive me. I painted a lion which took all day and I put a note on the back saying 'sorry for being a bitch'. I wrapped it up with my amazing wrapping skills and I made it look perfect. I knew this would make him aleast go 'awwww' and think its cute (while funny slightly) and me and abbie  'casually' went to dac. I asked them to give it to Boo and I lied saying I was heading this way and figured I'll drop it.
In the end, my evil plan work! He called THAT NIGHT! Muhahahaha! I'm a genuis!
I'm so happy :D I get to text him again. But within that time that he never replied to my texts, I was trying to break my texting him alot within one day habit. Otherwords, I am trying to be less clingy for him. Now, I can go through the day with only one or two messages sent a day. I just have to figure out what to do with my boredom. I use to read manga, roleplay online or watch anime but I sorta stopped once me and Boo started the secret relationship.
I'm pretty sure I'm in love, but....Shhhhhh don't tell Boo.
p.s. I forgot to tell you I'm a huge kissing monster